By Travis Lyle a.k.a DJ Hedmekanik

From the Mail & Guardian, today (14/12/07):

'Durban Central police commander Commissioner Bala Naidoo said there is "a disturbing trend" towards more drinking in public. "Drinking in public leads to scuffles and the next thing there is a case of assault." He also urged people not to break bottles, which could lead to children being injured.'

Well that's them told, then. Now I can frolic barefoot across the acres of Durban beachfront, carefree in the knowledge that a hundred thousand recently-matriculated school leavers are cowed by my fine and upstanding police force's stern words. Pity that the taxi-loads from far and wide couldn't give a shit, and the donut-munching lardass cops are too busy checking out booty to do anything about this.
It's the same thing every year - the roads are blocked off, a fresh rash of cops are dispatched to deal with the hordes of drunk revellers and...nothing. Well, not quite nothing - come January, when the travelling roadshow of public drunkenness heads off for some character-building riots at university and technikon campuses around the country, the parking lots and white sand beaches of this, our fair city, will be blessed with a sparkling sprinkling of broken glass.
The thing is, I appreciate the police keeping criminals at bay. There's nothing quite like getting home in one piece. Run the gamut, all that. Keeps you on your toes. Reminds you of how lucky you are to be alive. But the cops could not give two owl hoots for minibusses full of pissed lighties - they're way too busy making sure surfers don't jump off the piers or stoners don't smoke weed in public. God forbid. But while they're doing this invaluable policing, the parking lots are full to bursting with taxi's blasting bass, surrounded by whooping gangs of juvenile delinquents...who warrant no more than a cursory glance.
I've seen people pissing, puking, fighting and offloading sacks of glass bottles onto the pavement, with cops standing not ten metres away, doing nothing. And I've lost count of the number of pieces of glass I've thrown in the bins. Bins which remain blissfully empty, while the beach gets dumped on.
So it's really comforting, knowing that the Law, that hallowed institution of civil rights and wrongs, is gonna do so much to allay my disgruntlement over the wanton disrespect for the environment and recreational spaces.
Damn, they're a fine bunch of idiots.

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