The God Of Small Things Won’t Save You From The Big Bang

By Travis Lyle a.k.a DJ Hedmekanik
Ladies and gentlemen, the one and only Richard Franklin Lennox Thomas Pryor III


Sticking with the waterworks theme for the moment, we dish up a little advice from a man who saw a fair amount of Blue Mondays in his time - Richard Pryor. Yes, I'm aware it's Wednesday. Been busy, alright? Who's Kitchen is this, anyway? Any more lip outta you and I'll...ah, screw it.

'Mondays, hell, any fool can see them coming, sure. No man, it’s the Tuesdays you gotta watch out for. Tuesdays – whoo – they’re sneaky motherfuckers, best of times. Come up behind you without so much as a whisper and – BAM! – give you a kick in the balls you never see coming. Next thing you know you’ve got the fear, it’s all shit creek no paddle, cryin' over TV ads, cold sweats, and I’m not talking about no Jimmy Brown jive, neither. Take no chances. You got your 5-HTP, you got your banana’s, and you’ll swallow 'em down if you know what’s good for you, ‘cos the god of small things, he won’t save you from the big bang. No, he don’t give a damn about your freaky little ass. Not on a Tuesday, at least.'

Thank you, Rich. Always a pleasure. And now to the Talking Heads, who have a little advice for us....Dave, Tina, you ready? Take it away...

('too late!' she cried.)
 

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