A long, long time ago (actually it was 1997-2001), I lived in a fantastic house that was once home to an avid collector of records. There were untold numbers of them, only a fraction of which I ever got through listening to. One of these, Songs By Tom Lehrer, was a moth-eaten 10" LP which had one tune in particular I found most amusing. It's called 'The Old Dope Peddler' and I present it here, along with lyrics and sleeve note, for your edification. Enjoy!

'You are no doubt familiar with songs about the old lamplighter and the old umbrella man and the old garbage collector and all these lovable old characters who go around spreading sweetness and light to their respective communities. But, it's always seemed to me that there is one member of this happy band who does an equally splendid job, but who has never been properly recognized in song or story, and this is an attempt to remedy, at least in part, that deplorable situation.

The Old Dope Peddler

When the shades of night are falling,
Comes a fellow everyone knows.
It's the old dope peddler,
Spreading joy wherever he goes.

Every evening you will find him,
Around our neighborhood.
It's the old dope peddler,
Doing well by doing good.

He gives the kids free samples,
Because he knows full well
That today's young innocent faces
Will be tomorrow's clientele.

Here's a cure for all your troubles,
Here's an end to all distress.
It's the old dope peddler
With his powdered happiness.'

mp3?...'too late!' she cried...you wanna hear it? Make some noise.

And if you don't know who Tom Lehrer is, go hither - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom_Lehrer