Ladies and gents, boys and girls, freaks and creatures - drumroll, please maestro - Portishead are to release their third album, the rather cryptically titled 'Third'. In a brief but welcome snippet of info on their site (www.portishead.co.uk) they had this to say:

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REAL NEWS

23 Jan 2008

We're pleased to announce that we'll be releasing our album, titled THIRD. on April 14th 2008.

The album has 11 tracks and is 49 minutes 13 seconds long.'

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Well now. Not exactly verbose but everything's in its right place.

Also on the site is a long list of gig dates, none of which will be attended by yours truly as I am presently as skint as a freshly mugged hobo. Should a well-meaning philanthropist stumble across my deranged howls of anguish, they would be quite welcome to put me out of my misery by shoving a freshly paid-for plane ticket in my yowling gob. Failing that, it is to dreamland I go for my live performances. Hell, that's about the only way I'm gonna see Radiohead, Underworld and Portishead all in one night.