We Are Willing & Able, And Have The Gumboots To Prove It
Hang on...what's this? I found my keys!
Gumboots...check.
Frozen chicken with stealth giblets....check.
Carton Marlie Lights....check.
Heineken keg....check.
Tent...check.
Headache tabs (industrial strength)...check.
Gumboots....double check.
It's a fact of life, mud at festivals. Just one of those things that, once you've driven hundreds of miles into the dewy hinterland, you have to get your head (or welly) around, because all the bitching and mooning won't make one jot of difference to the gods of Mud.
The forecast for Splashy Fen doesn't look good, really. But that'll not stop our intrepid posse from scaling the heights of the foothills in the interests of doing some in-depth research into the workings of the mind when under the influence of mass hysteria, brought about by stuffy marquees and a diet of beer, bourbon, jagermeister and half a manky hotdog. Research, you unnerstand, important and up-close, executed with a solemn sense of duty and a 5-litre keg of Heineken.
It takes a prolonged derangement of the senses to equip yourself adequately for such a marathon of debauchery. Have no fear, we are willing and able, and have the gumboots to prove it.
The forecast for Splashy Fen doesn't look good, really. But that'll not stop our intrepid posse from scaling the heights of the foothills in the interests of doing some in-depth research into the workings of the mind when under the influence of mass hysteria, brought about by stuffy marquees and a diet of beer, bourbon, jagermeister and half a manky hotdog. Research, you unnerstand, important and up-close, executed with a solemn sense of duty and a 5-litre keg of Heineken.
It takes a prolonged derangement of the senses to equip yourself adequately for such a marathon of debauchery. Have no fear, we are willing and able, and have the gumboots to prove it.
